Open your eyes

Life doesn't wait for you to catch up. It does not need you to go on; it's on a schedule of it's own. Take it for what it's worth. You can either go with the flow or get left behind. The choice is yours; it's up to you, because life could care less. It will go on without you, just as it will go on without me and the weird kid that lives down the street. You can take it for what it's worth or you can throw it all away. Life doesn't care; it does it's own thing. You get out of it what you put in; it is what you make of it. Live life, don't let it waste away. It's the greatest gift you could ever have.

3:30AM

Another sleepless night where the body is exhausted but the mind continues to wander as if it's on some journey. But to where? From one thought to the next, it doesn't stay in the same place for long, constantly jumping around searching for that moment of solitude when it can finally come to a rest.  Dizziness and nausea take over as the body screams for it to end. And then, a distraction, yes, a distraction. A book, words on page; a place for the mind to finally go. Turn page. Running wildly across the pages, soaking up words faster than they can be read, the mind continues on its frenzy. Page after page, chapter after chapter. And then suddenly, it starts to slow down. The slow soothing ticks of the clock get louder as the thoughts get softer. One after another, like the beats of a drum. Soon the eyes start to get heavy and the breathing slows.The body relaxes. The thoughts are now at a whisper. Sleep can finally come..

Date a girl...

Date a girl who reads. A girl who reads has imagination and passion. Date a girl who would rather spend money on books than a new pair of shoes. Whose room is filled with bookselves bought a garage sales, fixed up and painted to fit her style; books overflowing the shelves and closet because she has too many, except to her she doesn't have enough. Date a girl who keeps a list of all the books she's read and all the books she would one day like to read. She's the one that will always be carrying around an unread book looking for a chance to pull it how and get a few more pages in. She's the girl taht can sit down and read and whole series in less than a week, who could just sit in a book store for hours upon hours. She can't walk through a garage sale, or any store for that matter, without picking out a book or two to add to her ever-growing collection. Date a girl who reads. It's easy. Give her books. Give her books and give her words. Show that you understand, that you knwo words are love. Girls who read undestand people. They can easily relate to many people, just as they do with the characters in their books. Date a girl who reads because she brings color and imagination into the world. Date a girl who reads, because she is real.

:)

Engaged to the most amazing man.

Throughout my lifetime I will always create. Accomplishments will be shared with close friends & family. (Spoiler alert: I die at the end.)  ~Dane Cook

I know a girl that doesn’t know who she is. She wanders aimlessly trying to find something that makes her feel alive. She spends her time looking and searching for something but she doesn’t know what.

I know a girl that is lost and wants nothing more than to be found, to be told that her life has meaning and to feel worthy of those around her.

I know a girl that is jealous of the others, of their good looks and happy faces and their fearlessness.

I know a girl that is tired of crying herself to sleep because she feels so alone. She hates getting ready in the morning because she can’t stand that reflection in the mirror starring back at her.

I know a girl who hides this from those around her. She puts on a pretty little smile but they don’t see the pain within. She cares more about pleasing everyone else than making herself happy.

I know a girl who doesn’t like to burden others with her problems and just lets them build up inside of her. She puts up a wall and keeps people at a distance so they don’t have to see that side of her.

I know a girl...

She is part of all of us, yet we decide how strong that part really is and how much we let it affect our daily lives. When you give in, life sucks...but bad things happen and at times life may seem unfair; yet it’s important to always believe in yourself, because If you don’t believe in yourself who will?

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master..." -Elizabeth Gilbert

I came across this the other day and actually really enjoyed it. I have never taken much thought to the concept of a "soul mate". But this idea I rather like.

Your emotions give me whip lash, the way you go from happy to sad just like that. I don't know what you want me to do; I don't know what you want me to say. I don't know why it is that I care so much. But that's my weakness, always has been, and probably always will be; I care too much about everyone and everything, whether they deserve it or not. I put myself out there time after time, person after person, just to have it thrown back in my face. I spend too much time on others and not enough time on me. After all the scars it's left me, you'd think I'd learn to change. But I cannot. No matter how hard I try I will never stop being me, I will never stop caring. I guess it's just up to you and everyone else how you use or abuse that fact.

The night is cold and the cool crisp air cuts at his chest like tiny daggers. He gasps as the sudden pain takes his breath away. Despite the numbing temperature it's a beautiful night, among the first he has seen in many. The night sky is crystal clear, not a cloud in sight. The stars were incandescent, so alluring that he thought for a minute he must be in a dream. There was no way that something this beautiful could be so real in a world so full of anger and disappointment. It seemed surreal, all the different colors that were embedded into the sky. It was if someone had painted the view he was now trying to take in with big, bold beautiful brush strokes of violets and blues. Despite the hypnagogic atmosphere he found himself in, he had never felt more alive; he had never fully appreciated life until that moment. He wondered why it had taken him so long to witness such a sight. He was just too busy. He lived life like he was stuck in fastforward, always going, always doing, never stopping, never seeing.
And then there he was, alone on some dusty old back road stranded in time. For the first time in the last ten years his life was actually on pause. Bored out of his mind and waiting on the repairman he climbed onto the hood of his car, stretched out, put his hands behind his head, and looked up into the night sky. As inconvienced as he was, he actually enjoyed the time alone. The country was quite, peaceful; time actually seemed to stand still. All that could be heard was well, nothing. Laying there and taking in the scenery around him, he began to relax; the tension in his shoulders started to ease and the wringle on his forward started to slowly disappear. He began to recollect on his life, how he had gotten to where he is now. Up until that moment, he never realized how sad and lonely he really was.

It soothes me, the music that is; it soothes me and puts me in a trance. And for a moment, for three minutes and thirty-seven seconds, the world makes sense. I start to see things in a whole new perspective. I feel hope; I feel happiness, and I no longer feel alone. I close my eyes and picture a place. It's nighttime. The sky is clear and the stars shine brighter than usual. A soft blanket of snow covers the ground; it's beautiful. That's where I lay, there in the snow looking up at the night sky; yet, I do not feel the cold that surrounds me. Instead, I feel warmth, happiness, contentment. And then it starts to snow; those big white snowflakes begin to fall and land all around me. It couldn't be more perfect...

And then like magic, you appear there beside me. You squeeze my hand and put your head next to mine. Tears begin to build up. Slowly, and ever so gently, they begin to fall down the sides of my face. I smile and close my eyes. The music stops. My eyes open. And here I am once again, right back where I started.

"Beauty is truth, truth beauty, - that is all

Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know."

~John Keats

I use to think that sadness was a place, a place where I'd go when I was unhappy or upset, a little hole I would dwell in until someone came to pull me out. But I was wrong, sadness is not a place one goes to; it's an emotion that ones feels just as happiness is not a place we get to when we feel at times that our lives are complete, it too is nothing more than a feeling, one of several strong emotions. Without one we cannot have the other. We do not know happiness without sadness just as we would not know sadness without happiness. To me, sadness was something negative and I did not realize the true beauty behind it. Society often views sadness as being malignant or even unnatural. And now I begin asking myself, "Is this really the case?".
No. It's not. We wouldn't be human if we didn't feel, if we didn't have emotions and feel to the extremes on both sides of the spectrum. Throughout our lives we will all experience times where we are swallowed up by grief and feelings of despair only to be spit back out and face the cycle all over again.

Many times when we are unhappy, people feel as though something is wrong in their lives or that something is wrong with them personally (at least this is how I felt). But when you really think about it, this sadness does many things. It allows you to appreciate the pain of others, it makes the happy moments in life that much more joyous, and at times it even helps you to see deep down who you really are. Even though people are always trying to achieve that feeling of happiness, it it during times of pain, not pleasure that people begin to grow and develop into the individuals they really are. Looking at sadness in this aspect, does it not have a beauty of its own? The truth behind sadness is a delicate beauty, just waiting to be discovered.