Just like that, out of no where it's back, banging on my door, trying to get in. I do everything to barricade the door, to stay strong. If I stay strong long enough maybe it will just go away, maybe it will get tired of trying to get in and will finally give up and leave me alone. As of right now it's not real. I can't see it. If I can't see it, it doesn't exist. But what if gets in? What if I am forced to face it? What do I do then? I don't know if I can handle that. Not ready for that day to come. I know it's soon though. Trying to prepare, to brace myself....