Just like that, out of no where it's back, banging on my door, trying to get in. I do everything to barricade the door, to stay strong. If I stay strong long enough maybe it will just go away, maybe it will get tired of trying to get in and will finally give up and leave me alone. As of right now it's not real. I can't see it. If I can't see it, it doesn't exist. But what if gets in? What if I am forced to face it? What do I do then? I don't know if I can handle that. Not ready for that day to come. I know it's soon though. Trying to prepare, to brace myself....

It's quiet. Almost. All that can be heard is a slight ticking coming from the clock up on the wall. It's rhythmic and oddly enough, somewhat relaxing. It's a relief to finally be away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life; people running here and there. Always running. Always running as if time is running out, going somewhere and never coming back. Too often we live our lives as if we're stuck in fastforward, a constant movement flying through the daily routines. We become robotic, unattached, and desensitized to the world around us. We are living a life we have forgotten how to live, if we can even call it living.

Another Day

Memories and thoughts of you keep flooding back. Most of the time they're happy and I laugh aloud to myself, sharing the stories with others. But sometimes I let the truth in. As much as I don't want to and as bad as it hurts, sometimes it just seeps through. I wish I could keep the wall up forever, but the truth keeps banging at the door, trying to bust in. My defenses are getting weak.